Stop Saying These 11 Things If You Want to Be Liked

In just a few minutes, others judge you based on what you say (more than anything else). Powerful words can build bridges and make connections, while weak words can create walls. That’s why being mindful of what you say is crucial, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. So speak with confidence and choose your words wisely. Here are some common phrases that can unintentionally turn people off.

“I’m Always Right.”

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Clearly, this statement screams arrogance and shuts down any genuine discussion. Imagine you are discussing a movie with your friend. You declare, “That plot twist was terrible. This movie is awful.” This approach leaves no room for discussion. It makes you seem unwilling to consider other views.

Instead, try phrases like, “That ending surprised me. What do you think?” This opens the conversation for a healthy exchange of ideas.

“That’s Not My Job.”

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Boundaries are important. However, yelling out this phrase is dismissive and unhelpful. For instance, a colleague may ask you for a quick file while you are completing your task. If you respond with “That’s not my job,” you might seem unwilling to contribute to a team effort.

Instead, offer a more helpful response. Say, “I’m finishing up my project right now, but I can grab that file for you in a few minutes.” This demonstrates teamwork and flexibility.

“I Don’t Care.”

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This phrase conveys a complete lack of interest and can make the other person feel unimportant. For example, a friend might be excitedly talking about their new hobby. A simple “I don’t care” shuts down the conversation and conveys that you’re not interested in their life.

Instead, show some empathy even if a topic doesn’t interest you. Say, “That sounds interesting. Tell me more about it.” This shows you’re an active listener, even if the topic isn’t your cup of tea.

“It’s Not Fair.”

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Fairness is important. However, always complaining about it can make you seem negative and entitled. Imagine being stuck in traffic, and someone keeps grumbling, “This isn’t fair. We’re going to be late.” The frustration is understandable. But dwelling on it can bring down everyone’s mood.

Instead, focus on finding solutions. Try, “This traffic is brutal. Is there a faster route we can take?” This approach keeps the situation positive. It shows a proactive problem-solving attitude.

“You Always/Never…”

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Extreme language, such as “always” and “never,” can escalate conflicts and put people on the defensive mode. For instance, if your partner occasionally forgets to take out the trash, saying, “You never take out the trash”, is a guaranteed way to start a fight.

Instead, use milder language and address the specific issue. Try, “Hey, I noticed the trash hasn’t been taken out yet. Would you mind taking care of it when you get a chance?” This is a more constructive way to communicate your needs.

“I Hate…”

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Strong negative emotions, such as hate, can be polarizing. Imagine being at a restaurant, and someone says, “I hate this kind of food. It’s disgusting.” This negativity can make others feel uncomfortable. They feel judged for their preferences.

Express your dislikes more diplomatically. Try, “This dish isn’t really to my taste. Maybe I can try something different next time.” It shows respect for others’ choices while acknowledging yours.

“You’re Wrong.”

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Challenging someone’s opinion can feel confrontational and can shut down a conversation. For example, perhaps you’re discussing politics and disagree with your friend’s view. Simply saying, “You’re wrong,” is dismissive and disrespectful.

Instead, express your disagreement respectfully. Try, “That’s an interesting perspective. I see it differently because…” This opens the door for a productive discussion and shows you’re open to hearing other viewpoints.

“I Told You So.”

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This phrase comes across as arrogant and rubs salt in the wound after someone makes a mistake. Imagine a friend asking for your advice about a risky investment that goes sour. Saying “I told you so” is discouraging and insensitive.

Instead, offer support and constructive feedback. Try, “That’s tough. Maybe next time we can research these investments together.” This shows you care about your friend’s well-being and are willing to help them learn from the experience.

“That’s Stupid.”

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Labeling someone’s ideas as “stupid” is hurtful. It instantly shuts down any chance of creative problem-solving. For instance, you’re brainstorming ideas for a project. If a colleague suggests an outlandish approach, responding with “That’s stupid” is demeaning. It discourages them from contributing further.

Instead, express your disagreement constructively. Try, “That’s an interesting idea. Have you considered how it might impact…?” This allows you to explore the idea further without resorting to personal attacks.

“You Should…”

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Unsolicited advice can often be seen as intrusive and controlling. Perhaps a friend is struggling with a personal decision. Trying to tell them, “You should do this” or “You should do that” makes them feel pressured.

Instead, offer advice only when asked. Try, “If you’d like my opinion, I think…” This puts the ball in their court and shows you respect their decision-making process.

“I’m Better Than You.”

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Boasting about yourself can be incredibly off-putting. Imagine meeting someone new, and you talk only about your accomplishments. This constant self-promotion will portray you as arrogant and self-absorbed.

Instead, focus on shared experiences and celebrate others’ successes. Ask questions about the other person and be genuinely interested in their life. This fosters a sense of connection and makes you a more likable person.

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