A careless comment can linger in a woman’s ear for a long time. For many women, this comes in the form of microaggressions. It’s subtle, often an unintentional remark that chips away at their confidence.
These seemingly harmless comments can create a constant undercurrent of doubt. Despite decades of progress towards equality, these microaggressions remain a persistent issue.
Let’s delve into some frustratingly common examples women will still encounter.
“You’re so strong for a woman..”
This backhanded compliment diminishes women’s experiences. Strength isn’t a gendered trait. Women navigate a world that often favors men; their strength is simply a fact of life, not something extraordinary. Imagine thanking a man for being “so brave for a guy” after facing a challenge. It’s unnecessary and diminishes their accomplishment.
“Wow, you’re good at that… for a girl.”
This perpetuates the harmful stereotype that women are incompetent in certain fields, particularly science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) or traditionally male-dominated areas. It implies surprise at basic competence and reinforces the idea that these are inherently male domains. This discourages girls from pursuing these fields. Moreover, it undermines the achievements of women who excel in them.
“You should smile more..”
A woman’s resting face is not an invitation to commentary. This is often used to police women’s emotions and enforce a stereotypical image of femininity. Women are capable of a full range of emotions, and a neutral expression shouldn’t be seen as negativity. A man wouldn’t be told to smile more for being serious, so women should not be held to a different standard.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find a husband someday.”
This unsolicited advice reduces a woman’s worth to her relationship status. It assumes a woman’s happiness hinges on finding a husband, completely neglecting her personal and professional goals. Marriage is just one aspect of life, and a fulfilling life can exist outside of that construct. Focusing on a woman’s marital status dismisses her ambitions and individuality.
“You’re being too emotional.”
Women are often labeled emotional, while men expressing similar intensity are seen as passionate. This is a double standard that dismisses women’s valid feelings and undermines their authority in professional and personal settings. When a man expresses strong emotions, it’s seen as a strength, however, for a woman, it’s seen as a lack of control. This stereotype needs to be discontinued to create equality.
“You dress too good for a working mom..”
This implies that working motherhood is inherently incompatible with femininity. The stereotype suggests women can’t be both dedicated professionals and stylish individuals. Unsurprisingly, a woman can manage a demanding career and still take pride in her appearance. This comment reinforces the notion that women must choose between career and family and that prioritizing both is somehow extraordinary.
” I’ll have to mansplain this to you..”
This term is dripping with sarcasm and highlights the arrogance of explaining something to a woman in a way that assumes she lacks basic understanding. It’s a microaggression wrapped in a “joke” that diminishes a woman’s intelligence. This type of comment not only belittles a woman’s intelligence. It also implies that men are the default source of knowledge.
“You’re too pretty to argue..”
A woman’s intelligence and attractiveness are not on a sliding scale. This comment implies that strong opinions are unattractive in women, which is simply not true. Women can be both beautiful and have well-formed, well-argued opinions. This stereotype suggests that conventionally attractive women shouldn’t be taken seriously intellectually.
“You throw like a girl.”
This reinforces negative stereotypes about female athleticism. It suggests that women are inherently less skilled or coordinated than men, which is untrue. There are plenty of talented female athletes who deserve to be judged on their own merits, not a dated comparison. Comments like this discourage girls from participating in sports and can hinder their athletic development.
“Don’t be so bossy.”
There’s a difference in perception: assertive women might be called “bossy,” while assertive men are often seen as confident leaders. This double standard undermines a woman’s authority and discourages her from taking charge. Women who take initiative and advocate for themselves are essential in any workplace, and this term should be retired. This label can hold women back in their careers, making them hesitant to assert themselves for fear of being perceived negatively.
“I hope you’re not wearing that..”
This comment undermines a woman’s autonomy over her own body and fashion choices. It suggests a woman needs male approval for her wardrobe and reinforces the idea that women dress for the male gaze. Women have the right to express themselves through their clothing without judgment. This type of comment implies that a woman’s clothing choices are for the benefit of men, not for her comfort or self-expression.
“You must be on your period.”
This dismissive trope invalidates women’s emotions by attributing them solely to their menstrual cycle. It’s a lazy and disrespectful way to explain away a woman’s perfectly valid feelings. Women experience a full range of emotions, just like everyone else, and their opinions and frustrations shouldn’t be dismissed based on biology. This stereotype reduces women’s emotions to their biology and undermines the legitimacy of their feelings.
“You wouldn’t achieve it if it weren’t for…”
This undermines a woman’s hard work and implies her success is due to external factors, not her talent and dedication. Whether it’s attributing her success to luck, affirmative action, or a supportive male partner, it takes away from the woman’s agency and deserves to be called out. This comment dismisses the years of hard work and dedication a woman has put into achieving her success.